Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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