bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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