She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
