I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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