im drinking this country out of the recession.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
