Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
