I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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