I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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