that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
no, he came in my armpit
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
