I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize