she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize