White coat. Heels.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
