Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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