Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
