We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
