He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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