Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Do you remember whose house we're in?
there is glitter all over my balls
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
