Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
