Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
