4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
