Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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