She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
