We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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