Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
