Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
