I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
