No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
