we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
