you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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