i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
