using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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