He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
