Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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