That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
