Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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