Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
