the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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