there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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