Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
