Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
