mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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