I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
