Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
