Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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