I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
