Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
