There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
