We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
