1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
