Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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