Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
