Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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