Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
