I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
