so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Randomize