my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
