I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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