woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
