How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
