i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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