he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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