I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize